Wow! Dinosaurs Aren’t Enough!

Screen Shot 2015-04-21 at 2.13.16 PMWhy is so much Michael Bay-esque nonsense piled on the Jurassic World movie? It already has dinosaurs! Isn’t that enough? According to the film’s new trailer, corporate Hollywood sure doesn’t think so.

Screen Shot 2015-04-21 at 2.21.14 PMIronically, my criticism of this film and its bombastic trailer is in the trailer itself!

“Corporate thought genetic modification would up the wow factor,” says the stereotype eccentric private military corporation executive and implied love interest because of that obscene sex joke at the start.

“They’re dinosaurs. ‘Wow’ enough,” grunts laughably generic Hollywood action hero guy #6401 in a gruff voice that (along with his brown hair, “we do things my way” line, and presentation as a straight white male) is supposed to make him relatable.

But Jurassic World isn’t merely trying to “up the wow factor” with genetically modified dinosaurs alone. It’s also doing so with big explosions, lots of dudes with big guns, an orchestral score more fitting in Lord of The Rings, crowds of people screaming in panic, more dudes with bigger guns, gory deaths of innocent people, gun porn, and an advertisement for the Samsung Gear.

Screen Shot 2015-04-21 at 2.11.50 PMI’m not even the world’s biggest fan of the Jurassic Park franchise; I feel the 1993 release was a great film that had its reputation somewhat tarnished by two lackluster sequels. But why shoehorn scenes from The Expendables into a Jurassic Park film?

Between a new Star Wars film, three major theatrical releases based on comic book characters, Furious 7 and yet another Terminator film, moviegoers in 2015 are in no way short on choices of action films. So why does Jurassic World have to be just another action film in order to ramp up its “wow factor?”

It’s already got dinosaurs. Isn’t that “wow” enough?

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